girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
