Me too!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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