she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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