hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
