Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
