You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
