did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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