i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
