This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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