If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
