Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
