Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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