I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize