Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize