You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize