my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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