I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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