Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
