I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
