Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
