id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
