It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
