I puked a lego.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
