but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
