ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
