I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
