I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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