i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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