I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
