I've blown a few things in my day
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
