Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
