just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
