My hand turned me down
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
