But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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