at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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