I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
