You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
