can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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