can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
