he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
