i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
