peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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