she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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