Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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