guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
