i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
