Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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