Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
