help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
