This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
