i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
