Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
