I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
