your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
