i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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