Too much gin, very little bucket
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
