It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
