Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
