did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
