I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the day after is always just damage control
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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