chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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