Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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