road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Boobs speak an international language.
this hospital has no fireball
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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