i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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