Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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