my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
