hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
