Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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