Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize