i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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