Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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