i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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