I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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