so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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