Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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