We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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