Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize