Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it was like eating out sand paper
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
