Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
