I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
